My thoughts on Pokemon Go

Pokémon Go..... What is it? Why children and adults so obsessed so quickly are and what on earth do they actually find?

On the surface a game that gets children out and about seems like a good idea as they will be getting exercise and using their geography skills to find places. Sadly it seems you have to be at a certain place at a time which may not be convenient for an adult to go with you and not entirely conducive to safety.

 Unfortunately GPS and Google maps means that children are not using their map reading skills at all....... they don't need to. Good idea in general Pokémon people but more thought and planning was needed.

Why are adults so obsessed??? Some played the original games, watched it on TV and collected the toys but really people, calm the hysteria, you are supposed to be grownups. Now put the electronic devices down, go back to work and forget about the weird creatures. (No, not Brian at the next desk, we knows he's weird but you have to interact with him)

Finally can anyone tell me what people are ACTUALLY looking for? When you get to where you are going is there a picture, a sticker, a cuddly animal, a man in a suit or does your screen just light up and you have found another one??? To be honest a man in a suit is scary on many levels. Who would be in the suit, do you have to take him home, how many giant Pokémon can you hide before someone notices? What do you feed one?

To be honest a game that people can play together is good and I know you can have teams, but I can’t see it ending well. Sending children out in the night to parks seems a rather short sighted idea with many complications. In this world as we are today, sadly people will fight against each other. (It has apparently already happened.)

Maybe we could have a new game. It's called "find the politician". We need to scour the country to find decent men and women to be politicians. If we find one we gain a better NHS, a higher paid fire service or poverty free families. OK, it's a long term game and you may have to wait for your “prize”, but it seems far more rewarding than finding weird dragon like creatures in the park. Sadly the decent politician is a creature more elusive than a Pokémon in Central Park.

Consuming my brain

When you get caught in an eating binge the whole world closes in around you. The only thing that matters is eating what is filling your mind. Stopping is not an option, being sensible and pulling yourself back does enter your head. The whole world is that cake or those biscuits or that pile of chocolate and consuming it. If you can wait long enough to make a coffee and sit down with a book then you feel like you have achieved so much. More often than not most of it gets consumed in the kitchen while waiting for the kettle to boil.

Sadly after the first few mouthfuls the taste is lost to the speed and need to consume. The more you eat the sicker and more bloated you feel. Deep down you know you should stop and occasionally you do. If you do stop the pull to go back and finish it wins and you go back to complete whatever mammoth thing you chose as your “treat.” Of course it is not a treat because it makes you feel bad. You feel sick, bloated, hot, angry and low.

Once you start to consume the food that you have chosen to indulge yourself with you turn into a single minded machine with a purpose to devour all of it until it has gone. There is no taste anymore just the desire to finish the food and hide the evidence. (Even when there is no one to hide it from.)

The best you can hope to in this situation is to come to your senses and to throw the rest away and get it out into the bin where it is out of reach and hidden away. Sometimes this happens and other times you eat it all and hide the wrapping in the bin, out of sight and unknown.

If someone tells you not to buy the food in the first place then they have no idea what goes on in your mind. The following is what you go through in your head in the shop:

·        It will be a treat.

·        I will make it last and have a little every day.

·        I will be strong this time and not eat it all in one go.

·        I shouldn’t put it on my credit card but it’s the last time.

·        As I am going to make it last I can buy the more economical, larger size.

·        I will be ok I can still get into that dress, slim for that night out, get the guy or look good for the new job because I am on a new eating plan from tomorrow.

You really should be shouting the following at yourself:

·        Don’t do it, you will eat it all and make yourself feel ill.

·        Don’t be stupid, you have no willpower so it won’t be a treat.

·        Don’t buy more, you will eat it all.

·        Don’t put it on the credit card, you then pay interest on your binge financially as well as emotionally and health wise.

·        You won’t get in that dress, you will feel bad for the first day of that new job, you will feel too ill to go out and no man will want a woman with a bad attitude to her health and eating. (it’s not an attractive trait)

I have tried sheer willpower, hypnotism with a hypnotist, using the Paul McKenna book, CD and app, books, websites and a therapist (which you only get on the NHS when you are showing bulimic tendencies) and incentives.

I know that following something like Slimming World or Weight Watchers is expensive and restrictive and, to be honest, the non-sugar part of my diet is generally healthy. I am also very bad at being told how or what to eat.

To be honest, sometimes nothing works, no can say anything that helps and you know you are the only person who can sort yourself out. It is your mind, your issue and you have to focus and sort it out. Of course that is easier said than done.

I have, however, conquered it before and will do again. Every piece of sugary food I don’t eat is one step closer to stopping. Each cake, bar of chocolate or packet of biscuits I put back on the shelf is a triumph. When I can have just one thing and walk away I do feel amazing. Watch this space.

NO, not that space, it’ full of sugar!

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The Perks, Perils and Pitfalls of Being Petite

Ok not petite, I am short, let’s not sugar coat it with French words. I am 5 foot exactly, therefore I am short, under tall, vertically challenged or whatever phrase you like to use. There is no point in pretending that I am a giant Amazon woman as I really don’t think I could pull it off.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually mind being short most of the time; as the saying goes “the best things come in small packages.” There are, sadly things that are harder when you don’t have legs like a racehorse and arms like a gorilla.

Reaching things is a major issue to us little folk and can be quite an annoyance on a day to day basis. At home I have a couple of steps for reaching things in high cupboards, opening windows and cleaning those annoying areas far above the ground. In shops, however I have to rely on helpful shop assistants and the kindness of strangers. I think the world of retail forgets that not all human beings are built like Mr Tall with the arms of Mr Tickle. For example, I was in a clothes shop recently and some of the clothes were so far beyond my reach that I felt like I was a Lilliputian who had strayed into the land of the giants. To be honest all clothes shops think that everyone has the measurements of a supermodel. (But more about that later.)

Supermarkets can be tricky because the one thing you want is on a shelf so high that you would need oxygen if you do reach it and they really frown upon customers scaling the shelves like a deranged chimp in order to get that last packet of chocolate chip cookies that you can’t reach but must have. If you actually dare to ask a member of staff most of them will give you that look that could freeze the flames of hell and they then will grudgingly find a set of steps, put on their oxygen mask and retrieve the essential item for you. I find it is a better bet to approach a tall, male customer and do the helpless female act. (So much easier to pull off when you are short) They always forget that most of us smaller ladies are feisty hellcats and do their knight in shining armour routine.

I have to mention what I call Kermit the frog syndrome. This is when you sit in a chair which is too tall and your legs are dangling in an unattractive manner. Equally annoying is when you sit back in a chair and your feet don’t touch the ground.

So, back to the clothes dilemma. As I previously mentioned the clothes shops, designers and manufacturers all seem to think that all women are tall and slim. If anyone is short and a little bit round they are really not the ideal person to be showcasing the clothes that are usually in fashion. I will say that there are good ranges of petite clothes in some stores but you often have to order them in and they are never a generous cut width wise. Some clothes just don’t look as good when scaled down.  I think we need more short, fat clothes designers as they would understand the needs of the average small shopper. Sadly we are not all elfin as well as being little. I am a 12-14 and I struggle so I do feel for those ladies in the larger sizes who are also knee high to a grasshopper.

Of course there are plus points to being of short stature. Firstly men can be easily fooled into thinking that you are delicate and incapable when you are really gutsy and independent and more than capable of doing anything (apart from reaching high things). I suppose, deep down all woman occasionally want a protective man.

Secondly, ducking and diving though crowds is so much easier when you are small. You can get through a group of people with only a few “Excuse mes” and “oops, sorrys” as you squeeze past.

Obviously being smaller means that you don’t have to bend down so far to pick things up. (Wash out your minds, what did you think I was going to say!!!)  You never have to bend to get through low doorways or under overhanging branches and you always have plenty of leg room in cars, trains and other forms of transport.

So too summarise being a petite woman there are pluses and minuses and, of course, insults and leprechaun jokes, but to be totally honest, I think I would rather be five foot tall than a long legged, Amazon.

Does this tree make me look big?

Land of the giants.