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17th July 2021
Well I have to say that the first week of my weight loss journey has been really positive and successful. I am very grateful to all the fabulous and encouraging comments I have received.
If you wish to comment I am on Instagram Orangecoffee1969 If you already follow me on any social media platform please comment or share my posts if you think they will help anyone with eating issues.
If you read my first post you will know that sugar is my Achilles heel. Today is day 12 with no sugary food and I am actually feeling good.
The first few days were very hard because my body wanted the sugar, it craved the sweet taste, the sugar rush and the emotional hit. After a few days I realised that I wasn’t having cravings anymore.
I genuinely feel lighter, less bloated and less lethargic. My goal is to be healthier again so I feel this is a good start. I am waiting for the results of a blood test to see if I am pre-diabetic, and that is a very good incentive to be sensible.
I also want to wear fabulous clothes again and look good. I am lucky to have got some lovely dresses in a size 18, but when you are 5 foot tall being smaller makes the clothes look better. I want to feel like the confident person I used to be rather than walking around with a confident façade like I have been doing since re-gaining the weight.
It is so easy to walk around pretending I am not as big as I am until that moment I see a photograph or my reflection and realise I don’t look as good as I thought. This would previously have plunged me into a sugar binge because one look in the mirror could cause me to lose hope in ever getting my figure back.
Right now I am trying to use positivity to help keep me on track and losing weight this week has been a really good boost. This week I have lost two pounds, I am more than happy with that because slow weight loss tends to stay off.
To achieve weight loss every week I will need to keep an eye on what else I am eating and also move more. I have decided that for my first month I will be happy to aim for more than 10,000 steps 4 times a week and 20 minutes of Pilates and floor exercises 4 times a week. This may seem low effort but I would like to get my body used to moving more again as I have been quite lethargic this last year. I put that down to over consumption of sugar, the menopause and the general situation we have all been in. My Pilates and floor exercises are not listed with my steps this time because I have only done a few 5 minute sessions to alleviate back pain.
My aim is to increase my exercise levels as I go along and join a gym when I am feeling a little fitter. Living in a flat does mean that I cannot use gym equipment and do exercise videos at home as it would be really unfair on the lady who lives below me. This is not an excuse, it is common courtesy to a neighbour.
My step count below, taken from my Apple watch, is a good start. My average had gone down to around 6,700 steps a day up until recently and so this, in my book, is progress.
|
Date |
Steps
walked |
|
10th July 2021 |
10,012 |
|
11th July 2021 |
11,164 |
|
12th July 2021 |
10,881 |
|
13th July 2021 |
10,400 |
|
14th July 2021 |
10,079 |
|
15th July 2021 |
9,378 |
|
16th July 2021 |
10,243 |
|
Total |
72,157 |
Losing the weight is a fabulous feeling even when it is just a small amount. I know that it can grow gradually to a big loss and I know how good that feels. I will add my stats to each weight loss blog post as I feel it is encouraging to myself and to anyone else who is losing weight.
Date | Stats | Notes | |
10th July 2021 | Weight | 176 pounds (79.832 Kg) |
|
| Dress size | UK 18 |
|
17th July 2021 | Weight | 174 pounds (78.925 Kg) | 2 pounds lost |
| Dress size | UK 18 |
|
|
|
|
|
My eating issues are all psychological and I am never afraid to admit that. There is a huge stigma around mental health issues and there shouldn't be. I am currently paying for sessions with a brilliant psychotherapist who specialises in eating issues among other things. The sessions are held via Zoom and you can book as many as you need. I am aware that there will be a lot of people who cannot afford to pay for this service, but if you can, then go to:
www.goodmentalhealth.co.uk
A 25 minutes session costs £20 and a 50 minute session costs £35 so for me the cost is partially offset by the fact that I am not buying mountains of sugary food to binge on. It is a shame that there is not more help available on the NHS but the resources just aren't there.
I will continue writing these posts and hope that each time there is a weight loss to report, however small. A positive mindset is imperative right now so I shall keep smiling.
I
have struggled with my weight and eating on and off for years, I have lost
loads and put it back on in typical yo-yo dieting fashion. I have had binge eating
and vomiting issues and seen psychologists. I have used hypnotherapy and I went for three years with no sugary treats, puddings, sweets etc. When it comes down to it I know I have to eat
less and move more as that is the only way to lose weight. Sadly my eating
issues, especially around sugar, mean that it is not as simple as it sounds.
In 2018 I thought I had cracked it with the Paul McKenna hypnotism book and CD, Get Control of Sugar. I stopped eating sugary food and lost 34 pounds. Three years later I made the mistake of starting to eat sugar again. A year later I have gone from a size 12 to a size 18 and put on more weight than I lost.
In principal I don’t agree with cutting out any kind of food, unless you have an allergy of course, but sadly sugar is my nemesis and it has to go.
I won’t be eating any cakes, sweets, biscuits, chocolates, puddings etc.
I will be eating fruit as I am not so bad with natural sugar.
Yes there is sugar in foods like bread and that is not an issue.
I don’t like alcohol so that is one sugary thing I don’t need to worry about.
I avoid as many processed foods as possible so the sugar in the occasional processed thing won’t be an issue.
For various psychological reasons I will binge on cakes, sweets, chocolates, biscuits etc until I feel sick and am in pain. The pain of feeling so full and the disgust after bingeing is so abhorrent at the time yet so easily forgotten. You forget the stomach pain and the desire to be empty where it would be better to keep hold of that feeling and use it as a valuable tool. The exhaustion, lethargy and headaches that follow should also be a deterrent but are not.
I am dealing with these issues with a private psychotherapist and it is worth every penny. It is so valuable to be able to discuss how I feel, why I eat and how to stop. I should have listened to him weeks ago when he suggested that I give up the sugar again, but I am a stubborn old bag at the best of times.
The other issue I have is the menopause. (I said it would be an honest diary.) I don’t really know the science but basically women struggle with losing weight and added belly fat when they are menopausal. (Among a million other things.) That’s life and I shall deal with it, but I am kicking myself because if I hadn’t put the last few stone back on it would all have been easier.
The only person who can lose the weight is me; no one is force feeding me. I am hoping that writing this as a series on my blog will give me something to focus on.
Finding things to do that make me happy is a key thing in distracting me from the bingeing. I recently went back to writing this eclectic blog after over a year of silence. Writing that first post after such a long time felt like a real achievement as it would have been so easy to let it slide. I walked to work the next day and felt physically lighter. I think it was pride and relief to be honest. I am no great writer but I do enjoy it.
I am exactly 5 foot tall (162.5cm)
I currently weigh 176 pounds (79.8kg)
I am a UK size 18.
It
is not fun writing that down as 3 years ago I was 138 pounds and a size 12. If
I have to record that on here each time I will definitely want the numbers to
go down (Not my height of course as it’s a pain reaching high things already.)
I did discuss writing this blog series with my psychotherapist as I was concerned that it would come across as narcissistic or attention seeking, he did think it was a good idea and might be of help to me.
 |
| What I aspire to look like again. 138 pounds. March 2018 |
